Ok, I need help. My kids drive me crazy and it seems they won't listen to me unless I'm yelling. I'm really tired of it and I'm sure they are too. In fact, tonight, Carter said, "Mom, you're scary." Well, little boy, you're annoying. (People, people. Don't worry, I didn't say that to him.) But really. I love my kids and I feel bad that almost every night ends in an angry mom. I pray for help and they just get worse. Hmmm. Wonder what that means? I know this is probably a trial designed to make me some exceptionally patient and wonderful person. So far, not really working. I think I need a really long vacation that involves no grocery shoppping with toddler and preschooler. No bathing and brushing of teeth of toddler and preschooler. And definitely NOT trying to have a successful FHE with toddler and preschooler! Let's just say it did not go well (and the lesson was on obedience). *sigh*
Monday, January 19, 2009
The Yelling Mom
Ok, I need help. My kids drive me crazy and it seems they won't listen to me unless I'm yelling. I'm really tired of it and I'm sure they are too. In fact, tonight, Carter said, "Mom, you're scary." Well, little boy, you're annoying. (People, people. Don't worry, I didn't say that to him.) But really. I love my kids and I feel bad that almost every night ends in an angry mom. I pray for help and they just get worse. Hmmm. Wonder what that means? I know this is probably a trial designed to make me some exceptionally patient and wonderful person. So far, not really working. I think I need a really long vacation that involves no grocery shoppping with toddler and preschooler. No bathing and brushing of teeth of toddler and preschooler. And definitely NOT trying to have a successful FHE with toddler and preschooler! Let's just say it did not go well (and the lesson was on obedience). *sigh*
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14 comments:
Don't worry. My sister-in-law says the same thing. She figures she might as well just start yelling from the beginning so she doesn't have to keep repeating herself. ;) I'm sure one day I'll understand just as well - though some days I already do. Don't worry, you're a Great mom!!! :D ...they'll grow up, and things will be different.
I think that I am just going deaf from all the crying my kids do. They can't hear anything I say because the three of them together screaming is too loud. Instead of calling it yelling just call it elevated reasoning. Don't worry your not scary!! It will get better...I hope! LOL
Oh, we've all been there. I, too, and a Yelling Mom. My children don't listen unless I yell, and I know that I've inadvertently trained them to be that way! And I have one that doesn't hear a word I say until I physically make him look at me by taking his shoulders in my hands and make him face me. My husband has asked me several times when he's arrived home in the evening why I'm screaming at everyone, and I just tell him he wasn't home for the hundred times I asked nicely! The worst was when my oldest came to me after I'd calmed down from a tirade and tearfully told me that he thought I didn't like him anymore. Ouch! I did my best to reassure him that I loved him very much and could never feel any differently, but that I was disappointed in his choices and disappointed in myself for yelling at him.
I am really hard on myself, too. Having lost a child, how can I be anything but amazing for my children here with me? But even so, I know that I am human and have this weakness. But I can also repent and do better tomorrow.
Being a mom is one of the most frustrating jobs there is. But it is also one of the most rewarding. Don't worry, hang in there. It does get a little better as they get older. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother, even if you yell a little!
You kill me! I think that you are a great mom! Everyone loses their cool. I mean I work with preschoolers 6 days a week, and sometimes other peoples kids drive me up the wall just as much as my siblings used to....unfor. or maybe for. I can't yell at them since they aren't my kids. I have found that a little timeout (locking myself in the bathroom or my office) for me has helped me...and then when Ihave to face a possible bigger mess I remember that I once was a kid and try to make it into a game and get on their level. They don't mean to not listen, they just don't have the practice we as adults have. GOOD LUCK!
:D Jess :D
You should have heard me this afternoon. Clapping my hands and carry on because Miss Naughty wouldn't hang up her dang coat!
Hmph.
Let's take a vacation.
Wend, you are an amazing mother and your kids know you love them, I've seen their love in action. Plus, remember how I used to say the same thing to you kids because you really didn't pay any attention until I TALKED REALLY REALLY LOUD (that's a better way to put it, don't you think?). Anyway, look how wonderful you turned out - pretty much perfect. And to think, it was because I TALKED REALLY REALLY LOUD to you sometimes. I love you, honey, you're doing fine! Mom
Wendi this post made me laugh! You are such a great mom! I have seen you in action. I think we all have yelling days. I have been feeling pretty bad lately because every time I have to discipline Talton he looks at me and says, "mommy, could you please be happy?" Ouch! I feel like I have manipulated him into thinking he has to be good for the sole purpose of keeping mom's temper at bay. Still, you do so many things right and you have to remember those too, so don't get too discouraged about not being perfect. You are pretty close! I think sometimes all we can do is keep praying. It's a good thing that you're asking for, so eventually the help you're seeking will come!
Oh mercy........you mean it just gets worse? I thought having one screamer while the baby fussed was tough. But when little Connor becomes a toddler, my preschooler Elli will STILL drive me crazy?!?!?!?!
And yes, WHY is EVERY NIGHT a yelling match?? Get into bed.....no, no more water.......no, 2 books, not 17........NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!!
You know, Logan's only 2 hours or so away from here......wanna go to a spa together??
I totally understand the FHE thing. If we are not done in 5 minutes or less, well we might as well just give up. I think you have to have hard days so, those sweet wonderful moments mean even more!
And I am all for a vacation. Can I leave pregnancy at home too? :-)
Oh Wendi, Wendi...I feel the same way. ESPECIALLY by night time. I seriously feel like I'm going to explode and my brain is basically one big counting session (1, 2, don't freak out, 3, 4, don't kill them, 5, 6, relax, 7, 8, sing a song...). By bedtime, I'm SOOOOOOO done with kids and I'm not kidding, I do a body sigh when their doors are shut and the house is quiet. You're NOT alone!!!
SERIOUSLY! Ralphie, Wendi, I want to come on this vacation too! I am so relieved to know that some one as wonderful as you has the same problems I do! But I know what you mean, it is so hard, some times... I am so anxious for bed time that I put my kids to bed at 6!
I have been probing my 12 year old and 10 year old latley to see if there is any permanent damage left from the yelling mom and they don't seem remember her much, so don't worry...I must say though I don't really yell anymore, I think 2 little ones with no one else is just plain hard. Sometimes I wonder if I should have like 4 more kids (bringing the total to 8)just to make up for how aweful I was when my first two were little! Then reality hits (aka daughters hitting eachother) and I smile and remind myself not to yell;)
I totally understand. Mallory has started doing two things that really annoy me...rolling her eyes and the floppy temper tantrum. I thought age one was rough, if this is a preview to age 2 I might just go back on birth control!
Anyway...you're a great Mom and a great example. I yell often, too...sometimes just to see the look on their face(s). I have even put myself in time-out. My Mom yelled at us, and I think (I hope) I turned out fine.
Oh, Wendi. What a breath of fresh air to know that you also get mad and yell. I feel like that is all I do lately. It gets better for like a day and then it is back to angry mom. I don't have the preschooler, but I do have the toddler and a newborn. I love you. Thank you for being so open and honest on your blog!
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